Coming to end of self is excruciating (agonizing, severe, acute, intense, violent, racking, searing, piercing, stabbing, raging, mentally agonizing; very embarrassing, awkward, or tedious.)…but needed. The Bible says 2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature, the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.
The part where…old things passed away; behold (SEE), new things HAVE come. In my mind, I see cleaning out my closet full to the brim with clothes. You know the clothes that made you look good…when you were 30 lbs. lighter. Yet, you cannot bring yourself to throw or give them away. The clothes that is for every size you have fluctuated in the last 10 years. The clothes that are out of date but bring memories of good times and just might come back into style, all of THOSE clothes. I think that I cannot bring any new clothes in because I have no room. So the old cloths must go and lets be real it is a struggle to remove not the things we hold on to, but why we hold on to them.
Coming to the end of our self is the same agonizing task on a very personal level. Because you, as with clothes need to examine why you have this attitude, thought process or response and action. It is a deep cleaning of the old and at times even the mourning of the passing or letting go of the old you. It is a lot of hard and emotional work. In the midst of it all, you kick up other situations and circumstances that brings you to the place you stacked up things and realize how it has cluttered your life.
Now, I also see this as not the removing of everything from the closet or you, but the things that have no value or use in your current life. It is a process of elimination and replace with things that add His value to your life. An everyday process creating a place where we change into a new creature. To be able to walk into a clean closet and see all that is there to use every day without thought if it is in style, season or size is freedom. That as we continue to eliminate, as we go through this journey…new things have come. We become a new creature that does not respond in old ways. That always being right is not necessary if being right would demean or tear other down. That when you come to a place of serving, hearing others thoughts and opinions, careful that your words bring unity and solidarity is a sign of leadership in the Kingdom of God.
Be Blessed, Speak Life and against all Hope, in Hope, Believe. Believing that my old thinking and reacting had brought me to a place of trauma drama. However, His way makes me a new creature and I am excited about the new things that have and continue to come.
Yes, coming to end of self is excruciating…but needed.