Author Archive: April Harris

Without Love…Profits Nothing

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I know what this means more today than ever before.

1If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.

4Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part; 10but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. 11When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. 12For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. 13But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.

I have experienced every aspect of these scripture to some small or large extent. When I look back I see that I’ve cried more tears in my lifetime for me than for others…then God. He showed me His love when I was vulnerable, feeling sorry for me and when it seemed everyone was against me. Then He moved me passed me and into where He is and began showing me the love for someone in the middle of despair and my heart felt it. He showed me love for the one who doesn’t need God and I felt the emptiness. He showed me love for those who know much but lack it all and I hurt.

But with all those emotions it was love that drove all of them. I mean how can you not have those deep emotions for another if it isn’t from His love for them? How can you love the one that doesn’t have your best interest? How can you love the one you haven’t even really met? How can you love the one that has left behind collateral damage…you in the midst of the rubble and still cry for them? How can you be praying over them everyday when they don’t even know and they assume you don’t care because you are not showing as the world. But His Kingdom is the place to bring and change the situation at the heart of the Father. So I weep just as much as I did before and the tears are of love for the young girls who know not their ways and the world will quickly defined them. But they are not how He sees them and my tears flow with love for them as I try and show them Him. I cry tears for the hurting…and oh so many hurting. They believe they have it all together but still living in the world or they are so into all the right from the wrongs that they lead others along with them thinking they are saving the world never realizing the world has found a way to use them by their responses being no different than the world.

Oh how my heart loves…

4Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Oh how His love is strong…not weak, never weak. Love stands strong against acting unbecomingly, loves boldly not seeking own, provoking, taking into account wrong suffering. Love stands firm in unrighteousness and rejoices when truth is found.

Oh how my heart is full of love….and when it is stretched and at times strained and when it hits and being real, my flesh love tries to step in. It is most of the time a complete and utter disaster. But a very much reminder how I need Him.

Be Blessed, Speak Life and against all Hope, in Hope, Believe. Believing that don’t get caught up in it all, because if there is no love driving it…it profit nothing.

Together through the good times…and bad

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Doing the best we can with where we are. Sometimes that best doesn’t feel right, most certainly at times doesn’t look right and I’m absolutely sure (because most time I pull from my experiences) we are the only ones there….or so we think. In my biggest times of trauma drama is where I grew the most. It’s been, as I can only look at it from the other side now….a good thing. Even though I can tell you emphatically going through it, not so much. I even at times pray that God would just give me a revelation, knowledge, understanding, discernment, so I can just have a miraculous overnight (while I sleep) change please. Lord, I would cry out…just don’t make me go through it. I mean seriously… who wants to at times, deal with all the excruciating pain and anguish that had to be dug up and extracted from me. All the twisted thinking that has been instilled, deposited, conjured up by others as well as my part in it all from a life time. Let me just say this isn’t ever a one time deal. Who volunteers for such a thing that seems to at times feel as it will destroy you? But isn’t then that what it is all about? The not being conformed to this world, their thinking, our thinking, beliefs and worst yet others brokenness that bleeds over from generation to generation to ours, but to His thinking. As we continue to do our best and go through the next test, trial, circumstance, situation that either draws more out of us or teaches us mercy and compassion for others doing the best they know how. We glean and move to another level and as said “new level, different devil” and so it starts again. Now…in saying all of that, I do believe there is an
1. Get to know why we do what we do by being honest with ourself.
2. Identifying and stopping what you do…when it’s wrong by owning it.
3. Learning how He would want us to respond and do it the His way.
4. Taking every new situation and find out what the truth in it is…so we don’t have to go back to one.
5. Then using everything learned and applying grace and mercy and love He has shown us…and show it to others going through 1 thru 3.
So here is the point (yes, yes) I’m trying to get to…can we just not do this together? I mean if I’m going to be continuing this journey where trials and test bringing revelation and wisdom (I pray) as we all are and in those trials and test that come through many situation and circumstances and yes, even people. Yes….others trying to follow Him. Can we just realize it for what it is? He is making us like Him and the enemy is not wanting those changes. Can we not come together as who we are…sinner, saint, forgiven, unforgiven, Jew or Gentile..on and on, etc, etc and get to the truth of it. Because if we can get to the truth of it….the enemy can have no part of it.

Be Blessed, Speak Life and against all Hope, in Hope, Believe. Believing that I’m no one of any importance on this earth, but His child as all are. I’m just doing the best I know how as He continues to walk with me and show me. Never claiming to get it right all the time, but only by the grace of God not as blind as I use to be. Praying daily that He makes me better and willing to suffer through it, because I never want any child or adult to fall because of me. But I would rather He make me fall first.

Prophetic Word – I Hear War Drums by Barbara Krohn

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I hear war drums in the distance faint at first, but now they are drawing near
Those who have ears let them hear
This world is fading fast
I told you it wasn’t going to last

I’m sovereign, I’m real, and I’m coming
I’ve seen those who have been pressing in and those who have been running
I’ve shown my love now here comes my judgement
Answer me this, can you handle it?

Is your heart ready?
I told you in this life you have to go slow and steady
I have given you everything you need
So I do not want to hear you plead

I told them in Noah’s day too
What makes you think it would be different with you?
Those who have ears let him hear
I am The Everlasting

I am your King
I have done my part
But from the very start
You’ve allowed things to get in the way
This is your FINAL warning….so take heed to what I say

Get rid of what doesn’t look like me
I need a radical sacrifice, someone to surrender completely
To go and show this world a spitting image of me
Cause blinded eyes to see

You have some time left so no longer waste it
Go love, walk humbly, and no matter what don’t ever quite

Transformation comes at a Cost…But Worth It!

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I’ve been seeing butterflies..nothing unusual for this time of year, and out in what my kids would remind me all the time when they were young…the middle of nowhere, they seem to be in abundance. I was in Evansville this week and walking to the car from the court house. When this huge yellow butterfly started flying around me and then moved along the sidewalk with me. To the point my first instinct was to wave my hands to move it away from my face. Then I stopped and it just kept flying around me and when I moved, it moved with me. It was a lengthy walk and it didn’t miss a beat keeping up with me. Got all the way to my car and opened the door and their it continued to hover. At this point it’s totally okay to call me crazy….but I know when things don’t seem right. So I sat in the car…kept looking around to see if God had a task for me…but nothing or no one was around. So I chalk it up to…He will let me know when I need to know, but pay attention and not miss it. This morning I go to open up the garage door and there on the driveway was huge dark blue verges on black butterfly sitting as if waiting for me and I giggle and said, I see it. I walk up to it and it flutters around me in circles and I spin around to see it. Then once again land on the driveway and I stand there waiting to see….see whatever…and nothing. I go to the car and pull out of the drive and head to town. I really didn’t have any huge revelation or miracle, but just this subtle reminder…

2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2

Now, caterpillars are short, stubby (I know what some of you are thinking…be kind) and have no wings at all. Within the chrysalis the old body parts of the caterpillar are undergoing a remarkable transformation, called ‘metamorphosis,’ to become the beautiful parts that make up the butterfly that will emerge. We will be changed from crawling on this earth to flying above it. But we need to discard the old that was never meant to be used to fly and allow God to reshape and reform (testing) us. Is it pleasant??? Not at all, but so worth the view when it’s over and things that used to be able to touch us below will not affect us when He metamorphosis us to be above it.

Be Blessed, Speak Life and against all Hope, in Hope, Believe. Believing that we can have a remarkable transformation and metamorphosis and emerge into something totally different than where we started. Testing is part of it all to discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect and it will release you to be free and fly above it all.

 

 

Sometimes We Must Remain…..

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Sometimes we must remain in a place we don’t want to be. That place that has its pros and we were willing to go, but all we see now are the cons. That place we think doesn’t fit our plans and we need to find a new one. We think that they just don’t get us and we find ourself in misery, like leaving somehow will fix it. Whether it’s a job, task or a ministry…God knows the plans He has for us. But the moment we enter the world….the world has its own plans for us. The world makes us believe that this high paying job will allow us to give more to the church. But then the job with all its money takes our Sundays and the job….ends up working us. When available, we’re just to exhausted to go to fellowship and meet in the House of the Lord. That the opportunity for ministry is put before us, but our perspective of what that looks like and what it is….not glorious, at time ever consuming and not many seeing the over all picture and others will question it all.  Let’s be real…is anything what we really expect it to be?  Either we will grow into it or it will overtake  us.  Oh…Lord, if we only would have a clue and realize that no matter the right or wrong of it all…it is all learning moments. Some will go when we hear Him and moved in the the way He planned. But when the plan isn’t to our liking, we question did we hear Him at all. When the question should be, will we be obedient to the uncomfortable and work through how we need to change, instead of removing, running or hiding ourself from the circumstance/environment or person? Could we consider that He just might be trying to rise our flaws to the surface. To acknowledge what we need to address or will we continue to see…it’s just everyone else. Problem being, that His next plans for us requires those flaws, those missed insights or legalism to be exposed. That the tough times will give us more strength to endure the next time. That the doing without life’s perks will allow us to see simple sometimes is the blessing. That titles and prestige when not ready for it could make us someone we never intended to become and one day will ask ourself when did that happen? I’ve been to all of these places and done it all, failed at time and ran and hid…but when I understood that where I am, I must remain is where I learned more about me and learned to trust even more in Him.

Be Blessed, Speak Life and against all Hope, in Hope, Believe. Believing Jeremiah 29:11

‘For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

I understand that it all comes at the same price He paid… I must also die to self or I will definitely miss those plans He has for me.

Prophetic Word by Barbara Krohn

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Someone in this generation is going to make a noise that is going to shake the nations.

Here I am Lord send me, I hear war drums in the distance.

WAKE UP, WAKE UP

You have been asleep far to long.

WAKE UP CHURCH

Take your place, stand apart from this world.

Open your doors to people not like you, love like Christ loves.

Go to the hungry and feed them.

Go to the poor in spirit and bless them.

Want to change the world??

You first have to change yourself.

WAKE UP, WAKE UP

The time is now.

The King is coming, so be ready for Him for it is written that every knee shall bow and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord of all.

The world around you is fading away for His Kingdom is getting closer…

Are you ready?

 

 

 

 

Get to the root….

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When your unable to get to the root of it…it will get to the root of you.  It will show itself through what you see by twisting what’s the truth.  It will force it’s way into simple misunderstandings and use it to start wars. It will rise up in you and speak anger and justification wanting others to hear its voice. It will create isolation for all the wrong reasons and yet needs others to remain in the open. It’s just a tool of the enemy to plant the seed and watch it grow to create destruction. Be careful in becoming to busy and not recognize its growth. I know that if the ground the seed is planted within is full of insecurities, fear, and self doubt…it will continue to grow until it has no other choice but to come out. We think we can hide this secret and control and prune it back. But the fact of the matter is if you don’t get to the root and nurture the ground it will return and come back. The enemy thinks he is cunning and wants those who are watching to start the pointing of fingers, calling out the flaws in them and continuing this senseless anger. I have been the one to fight the root and watch its return, because my insecurities, fears and self doubt is the strength the root yearns. So the root is not the problem just a tool of the enemy and the truth is…from you is where it comes and if we don’t deal with the issue…the root will have won. I have also been the one to call it out as if I have somehow arrived, yet if we see it for what it is, it is all sin in our Father’s eyes.

Either you can say the struggle is real or we must strive….Therefore as you have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, having been firmly rooted and now being built up in Him and established in your faith, just as you were instructed, and overflowing with gratitude.

Colossians 2:6-7 is where our truth and answer is, receiving Christ and to walk in Him. To be firmly rooted in Him and established in your faith and not allowing the enemy’s root find a place to stay.

Be Blessed, Speak Life and against all Hope, in Hope, Believe. Believing that what we do and who we are will speak which we are rooted in…see the enemy for what he is and don’t allow him to win.

What Flesh & Blood are We Fighting Against???

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I always love and appreciate it when God shows up in the midst of our situations.  It is during these times that He allows me to see things through scriptures differently that when I was just reading them and taking everything at face value.  But when God gives you things, that you would never had even seen that way…trust me when I say He is giving you revelation on it.  I may never look at this scripture ever the same again.

Ephesians 6:12  For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

From my view point I have always thought this meaning people that we come up against.  You know…people that give us grief and conflict, that if they don’t have some type of trauma drama going on…they just can’t find their happiness.  A scripture that helps us not to see them as our enemies of the flesh, but the manipulation the enemy of the cosmic powers of darkness, spiritual forces of evil with in them.  I am sure that it does represent that on many levels….but, it occurred to me as I was meditating today, that wonder…just wonder if that flesh and blood is also us.  Like when the anger rises up within us over a wrong doing or injustice and the flesh just wants to come against it and speak out all sorts of evil against that person to justify our response against their actions.  Could this be the enemy manipulation of us?  If you read the other scriptures around this on…putting on the armor of God

14 Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, (the truth of the matter within us) and having put on the breastplate of righteousness (how He has called us to respond), 15 and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace (walk what you talk). 16 In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one (faith that in our weakness He makes us strong, not in our strength we take care of His business); 17 and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God,

and this is what clicked in me…

20 for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak.

As I ought to speak!  Sooo….as we struggle to not wrestle against other people, but acknowledge the enemy is using them to bring you or at times them down.  Do we not also become aware that the enemy is not beyond using our flesh and blood and is the armor of God to protect us…against us?

Be Blessed, Speak Life and against all Hope, in Hope, Believe.  Believing that I am flesh and blood and the armor of God helps me understand that the war is not mine, but His.

Today…get out of your flesh man and into your spirit man where victory has it’s power there!

 

Where is your Mind….

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“For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace,” Romans 8:6

 

It seem pretty self explanatory….but we as humans fall into this trap, unless we are always challenging our actions and thinking.  I constantly have to remind myself that we fight not against flesh and blood, because if I don’t I promise you my mind will lead into that same place of flesh and I know that when the situation result into death. Death of trust, friendship, position and even completing God’s purpose. He will take it from you and give to someone else if we are not acting and responding how we are suppose to as Christ like.

We as people can love love love when we are not challenged on a natural level. I think on a Spiritual level we get our prayers on and war through it. Be when we deal with every day people, agenda’s and goals our flesh tends to get all caught up in it. Sometimes we don’t realize that this is a spiritual war of principalities and powers as well. For me, I get tripped up when my ego, pride…but mostly my insecurity is being tested. If I don’t catch it…it will catch me (trap).

I tend to see this the most when a shift is in the process of happening or in the midst of it. The enemy is all over it and the only way to divert/kill it…is through us. I’ve seen times where it is just a simple statement taken out of context. It could be part of your journey where your path is being redirected by the Father by using others and instead of seeing it for what it is Spirit of Life and Peace…flesh gets all caught up in it and death is spoken. Spoken over the person or what the Lord has them doing.

Lord, please show us these things and never allow us to speak harshly over one of your children because our mind is on the flesh and not the Spirit. Help us to see that our journey is meant to be hard sometimes to either grow us or show us. Help us to see that division is the devil’s playground where we play when we are not being Christ like.

Life is difficult enough for us with those who know not the Lord. But our brothers and sisters should be given love and grace. Yes, there are times we do not act right…but doing the exact same thing back makes us no different than this fallen world. Why? Cause we are all caught up in the flesh mind and not the Spirit where life and peace grow from. That Spirit mind can not be stopped by the enemy because we fight not against flesh and blood. We can see situations not handled right, but that should not stop us from speaking into it or re-establishing unity and most of the time to do that…we must be humble and listening, lesser and flexible.

Be Blessed, Speak Life and against all Hope, in Hope, Believe. Believing we are a new creation in Him and the old has passed away as so shall this world. But while I’m only in this world passing through…I want to show Christ and leave this world knowing it was never about me, but about Him and them.

Today, whatever or wherever there is flesh rising up….speak life and peace over it.

 

FEAR My Worst Enemy…or so I Thought.

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Last night at D.I.A.L It Up women’s class, I listened to Tammy Herron about “first times”…things that have happened to us and how it impacts our mind and most of the rest of our lives. You know like the first love? That even when you think about it now, it’s still like no other love you’ve had. The first high or first buzz, others will tell me is chased after by use after use after use…trying to capture that first high again. The first time you experience something traumatic and you do whatever it takes not to trigger that memory within you because you will remember it as if it happened again. That first embarrassing moment in your young life that just made you want to just die and drives you to a place of isolation so that you never feel it again. Even the first intimate encounter in your young life..whether it was permitted or forced upon you will create confusion and struggle when the time comes for a right relationship. Even just social relationships will be affected by it.

Sooooo….. I said all of that to say that most of my life…fear has overtaken me and I would identify it as my worst enemy. My very first memory was in kindergarten and the teacher had a death grip on my hand as my mom walks away and there I stood crying and trying to pull away from this person I don’t even know, with this unbelievable sick feeling that something terrible was going to happen. It does then seem that that very moment shaped my life. Now I realize that probably many children had/have “come a parts” when sent to daycare or school for the first time, but it did something in me. I can say that most of my life had been avoiding uncomfortable (to point of isolation) situations and I can honestly say an enormous number of tears have come from me. Which I also learned last night that crying is a major stress reliever and has me wondering…where the scripture says, “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” Just how big is my bottle and how thick is that book? Sorry, total side note. Carrying all that fear creates much stress and I released many tears.

Anyway, I promise you I’m getting to a point here. Lately I had been asking God, why? Why, does fear so easily overtake me? I mean, trust me when I say I am so far from where I use to be regarding isolation and fighting fear all the time. But in those moments of where life slaps you around, that my mind takes me back to that place of vulnerable…that unbelievable sick feeling I get when I was 5 years old that something bad is going to happen. I question, why? I mean I get that fear is a preservation mechanism built within us. But I believe many of us have a short in our wiring and we have a flight, freeze or fight reaction, when it really should be none. So, the Lord and I have been having this conversation and let me tell you it is a one way conversation. I’ve been pulling and reading scriptures on fear and trying to get an understanding. Scriptures like…

“The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? When the wicked came against me to eat up my flesh, my enemies and foes, they stumbled and fell. Though an army should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war should rise against me, in this I will be confident.” Psalm 27:1

“Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You. In God I will praise His word, in God I have put my trust; I will not fear. What can flesh do to me? … In God I have put my trust; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?” Psalm 56: 3,11

And of course…many know this

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7).

Don’t get me wrong, these scriptures I use in those life moments do work. But I still experience this overwhelming sick feeling of something bad, until I can get that “Peace of God” to kick in. But let’s be real, we will at sometime or another encounter fear. Then recently and I mean very recently my question has changed to…why am I scared to feel fear if He has taught me how to handle fear.

Rollback time to little girl in kindergarten, who didn’t understand that the threat was imagined, but the distressing emotion consumed her to believe the threat was real. My husband thinks that it is odd I do not remember before 5 yrs old when he has several memories before then. I look back on my young childhood and all my memories up to, and can I be real honest…through high school having to do with me, bring with it that sick feeling and today have realized it was a lie. There was never a real threat in all those situations that was life threatening or anything bad.

Be Blessed, Speak Life and against all Hope, in Hope, Believe. I believe the enemy wants us to feel distressing emotion, the condition of being afraid….fear. Situations arise in our lives or those we love and the enemy wants us to believe there is a threat. There is a scripture that says, “I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears”.

No matter if they are real or imaginary…