Coming to end of self is excruciating (agonizing, severe, acute, intense, violent, racking, searing, piercing, stabbing, raging, mentally agonizing; very embarrassing, awkward, or tedious.)…but needed.  The Bible says 2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature, the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.

The part where…old things passed away; behold (SEE), new things HAVE come.  In my mind, I see cleaning out my closet full to the brim with clothes.  You know the clothes that made you look good…when you were 30 lbs. lighter.  Yet, you cannot bring yourself to throw or give them away.  The clothes that is for every size you have fluctuated in the last 10 years.  The clothes that are out of date but bring memories of good times and just might come back into style, all of THOSE clothes.  I think that I cannot bring any new clothes in because I have no room.  So the old cloths must go and lets be real it is a struggle to remove not the things we hold on to, but why we hold on to them.

Coming to the end of our self is the same agonizing task on a very personal level.  Because you, as with clothes need to examine why you have this attitude, thought process or response and action.  It is a deep cleaning of the old and at times even the mourning of the passing or letting go of the old you.  It is a lot of hard and emotional work.  In the midst of it all, you kick up other situations and circumstances that brings you to the place you stacked up things and realize how it has cluttered your life.

Now, I also see this as not the removing of everything from the closet or you, but the things that have no value or use in your current life.  It is a process of elimination and replace with things that add His value to your life.  An everyday process creating a place where we change into a new creature.   To be able to walk into a clean closet and see all that is there to use every day without thought if it is in style, season or size is freedom.  That as we continue to eliminate, as we go through this journey…new things have come.  We become a new creature that does not respond in old ways.  That always being right is not necessary if being right would demean or tear other down.  That when you come to a place of serving, hearing others thoughts and opinions, careful that your words bring unity and solidarity is a sign of leadership in the Kingdom of God.

Be Blessed, Speak Life and against all Hope, in Hope, Believe.  Believing that my old thinking and reacting had brought me to a place of trauma drama.  However, His way makes me a new creature and I am excited about the new things that have and continue to come.

Yes, coming to end of self is excruciating…but needed.

At times it seems as if I go through these periods of everything being a struggle. During these times I feel anxious about everything around me. I have to constantly remind myself of the scripture in Philippians chapter 4:6-7 that say…

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with Thanksgiving, let your request be known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

During these times I must continually do it and not just read what the scripture says. Instead of letting the thoughts I think reside within me, I must pray and talk with God, and believe me…. do I talk with God a lot. LOL. I have to concentrate on all the things that I know He has done for me, that I must be aware of when He was with me. When most of your life you were constantly surrounded by such unsureness, I think is when anxiety tends to become part of your familiar. However, when you come to a revelation that God is really with you and wants relationship with you to help you. Then you’re familiar is challenged and you must start looking at things different. I mean analyzing it and being purposeful on your thinking and how you feel. Has it been a challenge? Yes, very much so…that is something that I continue to do even today.

What I have found out…it is really during these times of struggle when I go back and apply the scriptures again (yes, again and again) making it part of who I am is when I really see who He is and His faithfulness. I do not claim to ever have it all together or wouldn’t even suggest I have all the answers…but if we do not have honest dialogue or transparency, how do we move forward or help others and maybe in the midst continue to help ourselves.

Be Blessed, Speak Life and against all Hope, in Hope, Believe. Believing that reading of the word is good, repeating it is better, but being a doer of the word is where I want to be.

Today…the doer of the word will be what changes us…and the world. ~april harris

Restore is about restoration and relationship. In Galatians chapter 5:13-15 it talks about being called to freedom and the whole law is fulfilled in one word….love one another and what happens when you do the opposite. It reads….

13For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.
14For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement, “YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.”
15But if you bite and devour one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another.

Now I understand that it is not easy to love someone especially when they have done something that impacts us in a negative way. However it is not that we have to love what they’ve done but who they are in Him. None of us are perfect and we all fall short, but when we were at our lowest our Father in heaven loved us. He continued to love us even when we’re messed up, creating the mess or inserting ourselves into others trauma drama…like we didn’t have enough of our own. Lol.

If you are thinking that I can’t do that, then the question I would ask is, “do you love you?” Because the first time I read the scripture to love your neighbor as yourself, I thought…how that was not possible because I didn’t love me. If I could be real…I had the hardest time, because everyplace I went there I was and I was so terribly unhappy and I put my unhappiness on everyone else. It was a total revelation to me as to why I was so judgmental. The harder I was on me…the harsher I was on others. It’s that thing about if I could convince myself they are worse than me, it would make me feel better. Now how twisted and sick thinking was that…such lies if the enemy.

This world sure could use some called to freedom and learn to love each other. The verse 15 that states, but if you bite and devour one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another. Have you seen this in your life or in other peoples lives that struggle with loving as Christ loved? I know I experienced first hand and it was so not pretty. At times it has come back and consumed me and almost broke me. I’ve seen it in the news every day where people think their opinions are the only one and will set out to destroy people reputations. Even listening to the news and hearing grown adults calling people names just makes me shake my head. I have been involved in conversations where the exact same thing has been done and I know at times I have been the one doing it myself.

But we must remember what the Scripture says that you are called to freedom and not to use that freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but to serve one another. There is freedom that comes from loving unconditionally, without judgment and to serve others when they’re at their lowest. There is a freedom that comes when you know how much your Father loves us…truly loves us and then it’s easy to share that same love to others.

Be Blessed, Speak Life and against all Hope, in Hope, Believe. I’m Believing that we are called to freedom and you have to answer it, because if you don’t…you miss it.

Today you are called…will you answer?